Killer Perfectionism

• Control Perfectionism
• Pictures Perfectionism

Procrastination According to licensed marriage and family therapist, when someone is a perfectionist they typically have the following two characteristics that impact the relationship: the tendency to procrastinate and adhere to an all-or-nothing approach. “This negatively affects their partner’s sense of reliability on them,” she says.

Control Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the ultimate productivity killer. I really want that to sink in because I see a lot of momtrepreneurs out there getting caught up in perfectionism. Maybe you’ve experienced this scenario before: You have a great idea. In the shower. Because great ideas always happen in the shower. You write this idea down in []. Perfectionism is the relationship killer and a Holiday killer too. Posted on December 25, 2010 by Kim L I’ve posted a few times about how trying to have the perfect Holiday is counterproductive.

Pictures Perfectionism

“Perfectionism that comes out this way in a relationship translates into inconsistency, which is not stable. Partners will often stop relying on their significant others and take more on themselves. This is where resentment builds and criticism ensues,” she warns. Unrealistic standards As many perfectionists will attest to, they tend to be extremely hard on themselves and have incredibly high, unrealistic standards. Consequently, their self-esteem takes a beating, explains Marsh. “This hurts a relationship because perfectionists will generally close off emotionally when they are feeling bad.

The other common scenario is that the perfectionist holds their partner to the same bar that they hold themselves to, setting them both up for failure.” Black and white thinking Perfectionism can ruin a relationship in so many ways, points out psychologist, author of the forthcoming book Better Than Perfect: 7 Steps to get out of Your Own Way. “For example, perfectionists have a tendency to think in black and white — he either loves me and does what he should, or he doesn’t do what he should and doesn’t love me.

What’s more, perfectionists personalize other people’s behavior as an indication of their own worth — if he loves me, I am OK; if he doesn’t, I am worthless.” Obviously, this can lead to serious self-esteem issues and rifts in the relationship. Intolerance for mistakes The words perfectionism and relationship definitely don’t belong in the same sentence! Because “it’s very likely that your partner will make mistakes (at least one per day),” says licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology,. “Chronically calling him or her out on them (or doing so in an unkind way) is bound to result in hurt feelings.” Moreover, your partner may feel like they’re walking around on pins and needles all the time, scared to set you off.